Friday, February 04, 2005
Current Music: Grace Be God Go I - Floggin Molly
I love how I think my life sucks. It really doesnt. I am healthy and I have good friends. I do stuff, I dont absolutely hate my job, and I like my coworkers. I wish I did more though. I want to make sure I don't miss life.
Sure I have rough spots. There's Dave. I have no idea how I feel about it. There are times I think he just made up everything he said to me, and then there are times I feel he was being completely honest and truly cared. I need to stop worrying about things that happened and think optimistically about things that might happen.
Why do I make such a big deal about relationships anyways? I have been realizing a lot of things lately. I have talked to many people about things I never thought were even possible with them. If that makes sense..... I missed out on so much... or did I? I didn't think so at the time, as I was perfectly happy with my situation. But then things change and all these things I failed to see come into focus (too little too late in some situations). Did I make the right choice? I can't think about it, you can't dwell in the past.
I miss Dave.... there I said it. I miss being loved and wanted. Maybe I miss Dave because he was the last guy I 'dated', I don't know. I need to stop clinging to dead things... just because I know what it is. He doesn't care? Fine. Be that way. You are the one missing out.
Then why am I the one who feels alone? I thought I was over Dave, but I can't stop thinking about him.... gah!! Nothing sucks more than that. I need to meet other people, find out that there ARE people who care, who give a damn. What a pain. Love stinks... even married people gripe about their spouse.... its a never ending cycle....
WHATS THE POINT